Embracing Memento Mori: A New (Old) Approach to Grief and Loss

Can we re-adopt the concept of Memento Mori to improve our relationship with grief and loss, and break down the societal stigmas surrounding it?

Grief is an integral part of our human journey, highlighting our vulnerability and life’s fragility. It is essential to remember that while grief may be present within us, we also carry resilience, joy, and the potential for growth. This shared human experience is the bedrock of our personal journeys, but why isn’t grief a socially acceptable topic of conversation?

Despite the significant role grief plays in our lives, it often isn’t deemed socially acceptable due to the discomfort associated with it. Our society frequently prioritizes positivity and celebration, thus pushing discussions about grief and loss to the sidelines. Several sociological and psychological factors underpin this stigma around grief and loss in the US. Cultural standards, social expectations, and personal emotions interplay in this process. Our civilization’s values of individualism, liberty, and the pursuit of the ‘American Dream’ could influence this phenomenon, often making conversations on ‘negative’ emotions such as grief and loss challenging.

However, by embracing conversations around grief, we can foster a supportive emotional environment and possibly cultivate a stronger sense of connection.

What if we could normalize our collective experience of grief to make our journey through life easier for each other?

A return to some old traditions might be beneficial here.

I recently found comfort in exploring mourning jewelry or ‘memento mori’ symbols. ‘Memento Mori,’ a Latin phrase, translates directly to ‘remember you must die.’ Far from being morbid, this sentiment serves as a poignant reminder of our mortality. From a philosophical perspective, especially within Stoicism and in art and jewelry from the 18th century, ‘memento mori’ has been used to inspire people to live more consciously and authentically. The phrase encourages us to value our relationships, seek true joy, and live in the present. Therefore, it is a powerful concept that can enhance our mental health and lead us toward a fulfilling life.

The artifact that sparked my interest was a full skeleton ring from 1731, which aimed to emphasize life’s brevity. Featuring an hourglass symbolizing passing time and a crown on the skeleton’s head, it reminds us that ‘death is the ruler of us all.’ Although these reflections might seem morbid to some, I find solace in them.

As I navigate through the years after the loss of my parents, my feelings become increasingly complex, revealing their profound impact on various aspects of my life. Grief has not just touched my emotional being but also my relationships, personal and professional growth, and, of course, my overall life perspective. It has become a part of my identity. This is why something seemingly morbid like this ring resonates with me. I may not be able to afford the antique memento mori ring from 1731 Europe, but I now have the space to embrace the concept, and I hope that one day we can all do the same.